


Jus Drein Jus Daun

by Madjai6



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-03-16 21:42:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3503777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madjai6/pseuds/Madjai6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa's feet were moving on autopilot and Clarke couldn't make hers move at all. "It can't be over."      Multi-chapter fic!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't my first fanfic, but its been a lot of years, so please be forgiving. I am willing to make this into a multi-chapter fic depending on if anyone things its worth continuing. If you have any comments, criticisms, or blessed advice you know what to do! Also! The italics are Trigedasleng.

Leaving Clarke standing in front of that door was probably the hardest thing Lexa has ever had to do. But she had to believe, they all had to believe that it was over. She needed to get her people out of that mountain safely. The 44 were needed alive, the grounders had no more purpose to serve and would be killed without hesitation. Her heart wouldn’t allow her to truly betray the Sky Princess, it barely allowed her to pretend to. There would be nothing stopping her and her army from fighting along the Skaicru once she got her people safely out of the mountain. But for now she was walking behind a very confused and reluctant army. 

They didn’t want to leave the sky people behind like that. It went against their pride and their honor. The sky people had brought so much to the alliance. If it wasn’t for them the grounders would forever be in the shadow of the mountain. Losing their friends and family, being turned into monsters, and being bled dry to save the people that lived in a sinister bliss within the mountain. Not only that, they had all come to respect and some even like the blonde haired, blue eyed spitfire they called Clarke of the Sky. She had shown so much bravery and honor, the likes they had only seen in their Heda. But none of them were willing to go against their commander, so they turned their backs and headed home. She was fighting against her every instinct with every step away from Clarke she took, so when she got a safe distance away she stopped. 

“Hod op!!!” The army halted as if they had come to a brick wall and immediately all eyes were on the commander. “I know all of you are silently questioning my decision to walk away from this war, and our allies. So I’m here to tell you that we will be going back. I need our people who have been in the mountain safely escorted home while the rest of us go back and spill the blood that our people have been owed for years!! They don’t have any more of our people in that mountain and they won’t execute the sky people that they do have. There is nothing else stopping us from taking the mountain. This will be the final fight for some of us tonight, we know that. But as I said earlier, the mountain will fall tonight. Jus drein jus daun! Jus drein jus daun!” Battle cries filled the trees as the able warriors made their way back to the mountain to take a stand beside the sky people once again. Tonight, the mountain would be red.

Clarke was still in a state of defeated shock. She had the most hopelessly empty feeling in her heart. Her people called for her to follow them home, it was over they said, they had lost. “It can’t be over.” Silently she stood there in front of the door. Not moving, alone. She couldn’t leave them. Even if she stood there until she was killed or taken, she just couldn’t go home without them. They were her people, her family, and she had let them down with misplaced trust. She had trusted Lexa, even more than that she had cared about her. More than she was ready to truly admit. But now she felt nothing. She couldn’t let herself feel anything in that moment. She was afraid if she let herself feel the emotions that she could feel trying to crush her heart and soul she would no longer be able to stay on her feet. She heard a low rumble in the distance behind her. At first she wasn’t sure if it wasn’t just her wrecked mind playing tricks on her. As it got louder she really started to question her mind state, it was the sound of an army shouting in trigedasleng coming in her direction, but that wasn’t possible, they had abandoned her and left her there alone. 

“Clarke!!” Monroe came running up to her barely able to speak from being so winded. “Clarke they’re coming back! We didn’t make it very far when we heard them. I turned around as soon as I realized it was them. Our people are going to be fine! We’re going to get them out!” 

Clarke was hearing the words and trying her hardest to process them but it just didn’t make any sense. Lexa had looked her in the face and told her she was sorry, had walked away, left her on her own. Why would they be coming back? Shortly after Monroe the rest of the remaining 100 and arkers were back where they started waiting on some sort of explanation as to what was about to happen and why suddenly the commander was on her way back. When the grounders finally broke the tree line with Heda front and center marching with purpose towards Clarke she was still standing shell shocked. She hadn’t even had time to fully process the betrayal yet and now here was Lexa heading right for her. 

The first thing the commander did was walk right up to Clarke and look her straight in the eyes and try to use her eyes to convey her every emotion onto the princess. There was so much she wanted to say to her to ease the pain and confusion she was seeing in those beautiful blue eyes, but for now most of it would have to wait. “I am sorrier than I could ever tell you in words that even for a short amount of time I caused you pain Clarke. I would never leave you like that, not after everything you and your people have done for me and for all of us on the ground. I knew that your people are needed alive inside the mountain. I also knew that with no use for my people any longer they were in much more danger. I needed them to let my people go, I needed them to think that we were no longer a threat. I needed you to think so as well. But we’re here, we’re ready, we’re going to win this war and bring OUR people home.” Clarke didn’t even have words, in a 30 minute time span her poor heart had gone through every kind of emotional trauma there is. She chose to do as the commander had done, tell her everything she needed to tell her with her eyes. She reached out and grabbed one of Lexa’s hands and gave it a tight squeeze. 

Lexa turned towards her men and started shouting commands that Clarke was barely picking up on. The fact that she was understanding any of it was a good thing, she was finally learning. As the commander and princess led their army right through the now abandoned front door, Indra had already made it back to the tunnels to find Octavia and get inside. The grounders made good on their word, the mountain was painted red that night. They were so caught off guard that the amount of grounder casualties was unbelievably low. However, when Cage and his people brought even more of the sky people into the mountain, including Abby and Raven, Clarke had to make an impossible decision. She had to irradiate level 5. Meaning every citizen of the mountain, man, women, child, burned. It came down to her people, or the people of Mount Weather. She chose. She won.

Clarke was nearly asleep with her head resting on Lexa’s back while they rode back to the temporary camp outside of Ton DC. The slow steady pace of the horse along with her exhaustion and the feeling of relief and happiness was putting her into a state of content bliss. Lexa had come back, they had won, all of her people were free and heading home. Some of the weaker 100 were riding in the arms of grounders who had begun to see them as their people too. The only thing keeping Clarke from falling asleep and possibly falling off of the horse was her mind, she couldn’t get it to be quiet. 

“Please say something Clarke, your thoughts are louder than a Pauna’s roar” Lexa said with quiet sigh.

“I don’t want to talk, I just want to process this night and get home. I just need to sleep. It’s been too much, I just need to shut down for a while” she answered squeezing onto the commander even tighter. 

Lexa could hardly blame her, she just needed to know what she was feeling. She needed to know what she was thinking. If all was forgiven. But that would wait. For now she reached back and pulled a very sleepy Clarke around to sit in front of her. Clarke let out a surprised yelp but she complied so she wouldn’t end up on her ass under the horses feet for making Lexa lose her grip. Now that she was in the commander’s lap she couldn’t tear her eyes away. Stormy blue met bright green and neither of them needed to speak, it was understood. They were going to be okay. Clarke laid her head on Lexa’s shoulder and buried her face into her neck. Now they would go home. To live, to start over, rebuild their city and their lives. Home to heal from the internal and external wounds the mountain had inflicted on all of them. Home together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, italics are trigedasleng. I appreciate any feedback, advice, criticism. I am new to this and trying my best! It's late so if its riddled with mistakes I shall fix those tomorrow. Noooooow. Was that an amazingly epic finale or not?!?! Clarke finally showed what she will do when pushed. There are spoilers in here, you've been warned.

It didn’t take very long at all before Clarke was fast asleep in the commander’s arms. The exhaustion of battle and victory was just too much for her. Lexa was clinging tight to her, as if letting go meant she would fall apart. Clarke was holding her together. She couldn’t even process that the girl had truly seemed to forgive her. She knew it wouldn’t be that simple, but it seemed that the worst case scenario had been avoided. Clarke didn’t hate her, if the way she was clinging to her like a lifeline was any indication. Lexa couldn’t help but stare at the sleeping princess in her arms. Even covered in blood and dirt she was breathtaking.

She knew they were coming upon the entrance to the camp when she heard shouts of Heda coming from her people. They knew from the return of their commander and warriors that they had won. Lexa could already hear murmuring of plans being made for a feast and celebration. She, however, had one thing on her mind. And that was getting Clarke to her tent for some much needed rest. After she got her settled she would leave her to her sleep so she could resume her duties, she had a people to address. 

Clarke woke up feeling like she was being suffocated, no matter how hard she gasped she couldn’t get enough precious air in her lungs. The weight of what she had done had finally came crashing down on her while she was sleeping. As much as she wished it was all a bad nightmare she knew it was real. She had done it, she had irradiated all of the people of mount weather. It was easy to hold the weight off of her chest when she was riding back in the commander’s arms. But in the quiet of the empty tent she had nothing to do but reflect. She knew she had saved all of her people, her mother included. She knew it had to be done, they never would have stopped. It was kill or let her people be killed. But no matter how many times she told herself that it was a necessary evil, no matter how many times Bellamy and Lexa had told her, the guilt had finally eaten away at her defenses. She felt the sobs wracking her body but she couldn’t even hear herself from all of the screams in her head. She hadn’t heard a single scream, it had been on silent video. But she heard the screams in her head, they wouldn’t stop now. Her screams soon joined them. 

The commander was sitting around a fire watching her people along with some sky people celebrate and enjoy themselves. The horrors of the mountain had finally come to an end. Her people would never be completely at ease, that just isn’t how life on the ground is, but this is a huge break. No more being bled dry, no more having your friends and family turned into mindless flesh eaters, no more men in hazmat suits picking people off with their guns and destroying villages with their missiles. She never drank herself, preferring to be alert and aware at all times. Her warriors however, were drinking, laughing, and oh were they merry! A couple were currently having a burping contest, she was thankful they were downwind from where she was sitting. The sky people seemed to be having just as good of a time, with the exception of Abby. She was sitting on a log by the fire by herself looking very lost in thought. Lexa was just about to go speak to her when she heard the screaming coming from behind her. She knew who it was and her body was moving before her mind even processed what was going on fully. 

She made it to the tent in about 7 seconds flat with Abby and a few of her guards hot on her tail. Lexa wasn’t sure what she was expecting to find, Clarke being attacked maybe, but this wasn’t it. Clarke was curled up in a ball with her hands fisted in her hair and her body shaking with sobs. She was saying “ I burned them all” in between her cries, over and over again. Lexa was at her side immediately pulling her into her arms to try and calm the girl down. 

“Clarke, baby it’s okay. It’s going to be okay I need you to calm down” her mother said from her other side. It seemed that her voice had finally gotten through to the princess.

“Mom, mom I’m so sorry. I tried. I tried to be the good guy. But I burned them, all of them.” 

She sounded so broken, so full of pain. Lexa couldn’t stand to hear her like that for something that had to be done. She hated that Clarke was the type of person who felt guilt so strongly, it’s just who she is. She can’t turn her conscience off like some people can, like Lexa can. “Leave us, everything is under control here.” Once they were alone in the tent with just Abby sitting beside them Lexa knew she had to comfort Clarke. “No necessary decision is easy to make Clarke. If you had let them live how long do you think your mom would have lasted on that operating table being drained of her bone marrow? Who would have been next? When would it ever stop? Would their children be born immune to the radiation or would they have needed to keep taking marrow through the years to keep their bloodlines alive? I know it hurts, and I know they will plague your dreams for a long time to come. But I need you to understand that you did what you had to do to save your people and that makes you a warrior and a hero, not a murderer. You can’t do this to yourself. Right now you are the only one who blames you for your actions. If not for you, you would be lighting your mother’s funeral pyre tomorrow instead of holding her hand right now. That is, if they didn’t throw her body down a chute to the reapers. You have saved us all. And I need for you to see that. I need you to see how much good is inside of you. I’ve never met with a heart so pure who also had the strength that you have. You’re a beautiful soul Clarke, please see that. See it like we all do.” She knew she was showing weakness right now, but it was something she needed to do. If she accepted her weakness and put it on the line Clarke might be able to deal with her own weakness. Lexa just couldn’t bear to see Clarke think of herself as monster.

Clarke had never heard anything like that come from the commander. She sat quietly and let the words play through her mind, unsure of how to reply. They sat and waited, her mother holding her hand tight in both of hers. Lexa’s face was stoic once again, giving Clarke all the time she needed to speak, the picture of patience. “What makes me any different than them? They were killing our people do theirs may live. What I did was no different. I wiped them out, I burned them alive. Who are the real monsters? Maybe I should have died in the mountain with them all.” 

“Clarke they had a life in that mountain! It might not have been ideal, but they were safe, they had plenty of resources, plenty of technology. Their home wasn’t going to die or become unsustainable. They were killing our people just to see the ground, not to survive. That is what makes the difference. You and I would let our people live inside the arc forever before we ever did what they did. It was not anyone’s fault that their bodies couldn’t live in the radiation and ours can. It didn’t give them the right to operate on our people while they were awake and drain their bone marrow until they died. There is not a single similarity in this world between you and those men. I don’t want to ever hear you compare yourself to them again, are you hearing me Clarke?” Abby was heartbroken and angry at her daughter. How could she think that way of herself? Then again, wasn’t it her who told Clarke she didn’t even know who she was anymore after the missile at Ton DC. “Clarke, I never did apologize for the way I treated you about Ton DC. It was hard to understand at the time, but I know now that many more lived would have been lost had Bellamy gotten caught. I’m so sorry sweetheart, I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most. You are good, so good, and so strong. What you did was something not many could have done, and you saved us all.”

Lexa watched Clarke’s face the whole time Abby spoke, she wanted to know what the girl was feeling, thinking. She wanted to know if they were getting through to her at all. She seemed to be hearing what her mom was saying, seemed to be taking it all on. But the commander could still see the conflict in her eyes, not truly believing that she wasn’t a monster. So she decided that she needed to show her. “Clarke can we take a walk? There are a few things I want to show you.” Abby looked at her questioningly and Lexa gave her a smile and nodded her head as if saying it’s okay, trust me. Clarke stood to follow her, still shaking slightly from all of her crying. Lexa took her hand and held firm, trying to will some of her strength to Clarke through the touch. 

When they got outside Lexa stopped and looked around, letting Clarke just see everything. It wasn’t early but it wasn’t very late either. Kids were still running around playing before they had to lay down for the night. “You saved them and their future” she said pointing to the group of kids running around the camp. “You brought them home to their families” she said pointing to the warriors who were walking around with their wives. “And you saved each of them, the ones who are your family, your people. You saved them from being drilled into and killed slowly and painfully.” She said pointing out each sky person she saw walking around camp. She gave Clarke’s hand a gentle tug and started walking. She noticed sky people and tree people alike nodding their heads respectfully as Clarke passed by them. Everyone stopped to acknowledge her and show her respect. Lexa couldn’t have been more proud of her people. 

Clarke was still at war with herself. She knew Lexa was right, she had saved all of those people. She had done what needed to be done. As she walked around camp with her hand tightly held in the commander’s she took in every nod and smile she got from the people around her. It took her by surprise, but she could already feel the weight on her chest getting lighter. It lightened up with every face she met as she passed. By the time her and Lexa had gotten to the edge of camp where they could sit quietly and talk she only felt a little bit of the guilt pulling at her heart. She sat down and rested her back against a tree, just looking up at the stars through the branches and leaves. She smiled when she felt the body sit beside her and felt her hand being claimed once again. “Thank you, Lexa. You have no idea what it means to me. Everything you said, you caring enough to even try. I think I’m going to be okay.” 

“I know you will Clarke of the Sky People. There is no question of that.” Lexa met her eyes and gave her one of her rare genuine smiles. Her lips longed to meet the princess’ lips, but she knew it wasn’t the right time. “In the coming days we will start rebuilding Ton DC, rebuilding our home. I would like it if you stayed, made this your home as well.”

“I’ll think about it, we aren’t far from Camp Jaha. I already feel more at home with you than anywhere else.” Clarke was hoping that her blush wasn’t showing in the moonlight filtering through the trees. She looked down at their entwined hands instead of meeting the commander’s eyes. She had noticed the commander looking at her lips as she spoke before. She would be lying if she said she didn’t want to taste those lips right now. So she looked up at green eyes and took what she wanted. 

Lexa froze when their lips met, but only for a second before she gave up to her desires and kissed back with all of the emotions she felt. They put everything into the kiss, their pain, their passion, their tension. They poured it all into the kiss. It was what they needed. The rest of the world would be there when they got back to it, right now it was only Clarke and Lexa. No commander, no sky princess, just two girls who were coming dangerously close to falling in love.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a whole lot of plot in this chapter. Until the end.

It had been several days since the kiss between the two leaders. They hadn't really said anything about it. But the tension was always there. Clarke was in a better state of mind but still had a long way to go. The rebuilding of Ton DC was just beginning and Lexa was busy overseeing it all. She had come up with an idea to keep Clarke's mind and body busy during the rebuild. She suggested that Clarke oversee all of the village children while their parents were busy helping build homes. Of course she would have a hard time communicating with the little ones but some of the older ones spoke fluent English so they could translate for her. Lexa felt like it was exactly what Clarke needed, she knew the kids would take right to her. They all knew that Clarke had saved them and it would do her a world of good to be around them and see how they viewed her. The children and all of the village people really had a lot of respect for the sky princess. She was a savior of sorts, her and the commander both. She was seen as an equal instead of an outsider. Lexa could see her off in the distance trying to teach the kids to play a game with a ball she had found in the mountain, she called it soccer. It looked like the kids were having a lot of fun and it was good to see a genuine smile on Clarke's face. She was glad she had thought of pairing Clarke with the kids.

Clarke didn't remember the last time she felt this light and carefree. Hearing the kids laughter and seeing how accepting they were of her made her heart swell. She couldn't believe how trusting they were of her. She was just learning their names and a little bit about them. Lena is an 11 year old who wants to be just like Lexa one day, Clarke figures she has a good chance. She's strong and smart from what Clarke can see. She picked up on the rules of the game and has proved to be very good at it. Then there's Meryn, she's 6 and very mischievous. Saraya is the most shy, she's 9 years old and breathtakingly beautiful. Clarke has been making extra efforts to get the girl to open up. She doesn't understand English as well as the older kids but Lena has been helping her out with it. Nikolas is testing Clarke's patience the most, he likes getting under her skin as much as he likes her. He's a rowdy 7 year old little trickster. The older boys are Tristen, Luka, and Javen. They're all good kids and Clarke is having a blast with them.

She has finally tired out from all the playing and running with the kids. As she's walking them back she notices Saraya hanging back behind the group. "Lena? Will you take the little ones home for me please?" The older girl smiled and nodded. Clarke fell back in step with Saraya. She held her hand out for the girl to either take it or refuse it, the choice was left to her. Tentatively she took Clarke's hand in her own and Clarke led her to the tent she was sharing with the commander and gave the guards a nod on her way in. The tent was separated in 2 sides. Each girl had their own bed, although nightmares usually sent Clarke into Lexa's bed at some time in the night. Clarke had a desk and chair on her side with some art supplies and canvas paper. She led the girl over to the bed to sit down and noticed that the art work caught her eye. "Can you understand me Saraya?"

"Yes." It was so soft Clarke barely heard the girl.

"Okay, this is good. So can we talk for a while?"

"Yes." She had a little bit more confidence in her voice this time.

"You don't seem to trust me as much as the other kids do, have I done something to make you uncomfortable or frighten you?" She tried to speak as softly to the girl as possible. Watching her soft brown eyes to gauge her reaction. Hoping she understood everything she was saying.

It took her a minute to respond, it seemed she was nervous about what to say. "I've heard you are a great warrior, that you saved us from the mountain men. You made us safe again." She was struggling to use the correct English words, Clarke could tell. "You are Heda to the skaikru. I worry about showing you disrespect. Heda never plays with children."

Clarke was stunned quiet for a minute. This was the girls problem? She felt like Clarke was in such a position of importance that she was above playing with the children? "Saraya trust me, you will not disrespect me by letting loose and having fun around me. I want you to be yourself. I'm a leader to my people, yes. But I am not their Heda, my mother is. You are not beneath me sweet girl. You are my equal." She could see the girl visibly relax as she spoke. She hoped she had gotten somewhere with her today.

The smile lighting up the little girl's face was beautiful. She was such a beautiful child. She was deeply tanned with long dark brown waves and warm brown eyes. She reminded her in some ways of Lexa. The smile disappeared as quickly as it had appeared when the commander herself walked into the tent. Saraya immediately stood with straight posture and respect. "Heda" she said with a bow of her head.

Lexa appraised the girl with a smile in her eyes, only Clarke recognized it. She walked over to where the girl was standing. "Clarke I see you've made a new friend." She directed her attention to Saraya, "Has the sky girl taught you anything today?"

"Yes Heda." She looked so nervous, Clarke couldn't help but let a small laugh escape. Saraya looked at her incredulously when she heard the sound. She couldn't imagine what this girl from the sky found funny. Not to mention laughing in front of the commander.

Clarke knew she couldn't tell the girl that Lexa wasn't nearly as scary as she seemed. She didn't mean to let the sound come out. She knew she was the only one who got to see the soft side of Lexa and she knew it had to stay that way. Lexa was shooting daggers Clarke's way.

"Clarke, would you like to train with me today? Your hand to hand combat needs some work. I'm sure Saraya would like to watch. I could teach her something useful, don't you think?"

Clarke didn't like the malicious smile on her face. She knew she would be paying for the laugh. Saraya looked very interested, much more than the soon to be very sore sky girl. "Do I have a choice?" She earned another shocked look from Saraya. Of course she didn't have a choice!

"Do you question my command sky princess?" She had a lot of sarcasm in her tone.

"Of course not, lead the way commander." She knew this was going to hurt. In hand to hand she couldn't even come close to touching Lexa. But she followed her out of the tent without question, not wanting to make her punishment worse. Saraya followed looking more excited than Clarke had ever seen her.

Clarke couldn't believe where they stopped at, they were in the center of the camp. She wanted to make a public spectacle of her. This was going to be fantastic. She watched Lexa closely, trying to get a silent message to her with her eyes. She was begging her to go easy on her. The returning smirk from the commander let her know she was in a lot of trouble. She certainly wouldn't ever forget her place around one of Lexa's people again. Clarke got away with a lot, but there was still an example to be made to the younger ones. She should have shown the commander the utmost respect in front of the young girl. She she was about to pay for her lack of sense in that matter.

"You ready sky girl?" Lexa's expression was downright sinister. They were beginning to draw a crowd already.

"Don't see any other option, I'm ready." This is gonna hurt.

The first punch Lexa threw found its mark and Clarke thought her jaw had been dislocated. It hadn't, but it sure as hell hurt. The pain snapped her to attention and she realized she was going to have to focus on Lexa hard. And maybe, she could see when her next move was coming. The girls slowly circled each other, trying to see who was going to move next. Lexa lifted her right hand a little bit and Clarke focused on it. That proved to be a mistake, while Clarke was watching her hand the commander swept her foot out and kicked the feet out from under her. She fell on her ass in a less than dignified way and the snickers from the crowd sparked her anger. Instead of getting up right away she swung her fist from the ground and connected with the side of Lexa's knee causing the commander to nearly fall. Lexa was much faster and stronger than Clarke however, she kept her footing and when Clarke went to lunge again she grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back with her other arm holding the girl firmly to her.

"Do you surrender, Clarke of the sky people?" Lexa sounded positively smug.

"Yes." The word tasted bad in Clarke's mouth and came out through gritted teeth. As soon as she was let go she stormed to their shared tent. She noticed one of the men standing guard had a smug grin on his face, it set her temper on fire. She stomped on his foot as hard as she could on her way in thoroughly enjoying the loud grunt he let out.

Lexa saw her stomp on the guards foot while entering the tent and had to work hard not to laugh out loud. She saw the guard make to follow her inside, no doubt furious. "Hop op." He whipped back around and apologized for his lack of control. She waved it off and went inside after the adorably angry princess. She was met with a fist flying at her face as soon as she came through the flap. That one caught her off guard. It hurt.

"You enjoy making your point? I'm sure Saraya fears you just as much as before. Great job commander."

Lexa was still stunned that she had just been hit. If Indra had been in here Clarke would probably have been stuck through with a sword before Lexa could stop it from happening. "Clarke, have you lost your mind?"

"You didn't have to do that Lexa, they're all going to think I'm weak! I have just finally been accepted." Clarke was starting to calm down, most of her anger went with the punch.

"You must remember that there are always eyes watching us Clarke. I can't be seen as weak, even to a little girl. Saraya is going to be a warrior one day. Probably a great one. I have an example to set for my people. The soft side of me is yours and yours alone. You are my weakness, but no one else must see that." She didn't want to say it out loud, but they both already knew it was true.

"I understand that, but you took it a bit far. You have one hell of a right hook." She couldn't help but appreciate the swing.

"Not so bad yourself, you better hope my face doesn't bruise. I don't feel like thinking up a lie so my general doesn't kill you." They both seemed to relax after that.

"So… is everything still quiet? No sign of Emerson anywhere? No sign of any threats?" The feeling of peace was very foreign to Clarke after how things had been in her time on the ground. It had barely been a week since the mountain fell and it had been the most peaceful weak Clarke had known.

"The scouts haven't encountered anyone or even found any signs of people along our borders. Not that I trust it, but it seems for the moment we are at peace." Lexa felt like they were all just waiting on the ball to drop. Emerson had gotten away, his dead body was nowhere to be found in the mountain. She didn't believe he would just go off and forget everything. She hoped that the forest would take his life before he had a chance of causing any trouble. "Come Clarke, eat with me."

Ice Nation

"My queen, we found this man wandering along our borders. He looks to be from the mountain." A guard was holding a half starved Carl Emerson.

"Hmm. How did you manage to get out and escape the commander? I was told she killed everyone in your mountain." She was always interested in anything that had to do with the commander. Lexa had the power she wanted.

"The commander isn't the one who killed them all, it was Clarke. She came down from the space station in the sky. She is very close with the commander. She killed all of them. I was able to get out because she was more focused on getting to her people than checking to make sure everyone was dead."

The queen had heard of these sky people, but didn't think them any threat to her. She was beyond intrigued at hearing that she was close to the commander. Now that was something she could use. "Frag em op."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frag em op - Kill him. Saraya will be a recurring character, that's why I spent a little more time on her. Mostly a filler chapter. The next one will be a little more centered around the main plot.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me, if at all possible, for the long wait. I started a new job on top of my son having a sinus and an ear infection at the same time this past week. It’s been kinda hectic around my house. This isn’t going to be long, which I am soooo sorry about, but I had to get something out. I don’t want you to think I have forgotten you all. I will do my best to write as much as I can, but we all know life happens. I will shoot for once a week updates. Also, I have tumblr! I don’t blog much because well, no one really follows me. But I will be talking about the stories and when I will have updates and things like that if you choose to follow me. Madjai-valukbus. Sorry for the obscenely long authors note. Happy reading beautiful people!

It’s been two months, two very peaceful months. Ton DC is even better than before, it’s a true stronghold now. They’ve built a new wall from whatever they could salvage from what was left of the old Ton DC as well as wood from the surrounding trees. They wanted to keep pieces of it in the new village, they never wanted to forget. Clarke had been training with Lexa every morning and then working with Nyko in the healer’s tent. He had been teaching her the ways of the grounders. Which herbs and plants could be used as medicine and which could be made into a tea. She learned the different antidotes to poisons and how to make them. In return she taught Nyko all that she knew about modern medicine and surgery and things that they didn’t know about on the ground. They had gotten quite close through their weeks together. He often teased her when she came in limping from a training session with the commander. 

Things with Lexa had been normal, as normal as they ever were. They trained, often ate together, still stayed in the same tent. Lexa hadn’t built a permanent home in the village since she had a home already in Polis. She wouldn’t be in Ton DC very much longer. She had seen to the rebuild, now that they were in a time of peace she was no longer needed there. She had asked Clarke to go to Polis with her and she had agreed to it, curious about the capitol that would “change the way she views grounders”. Clarke was nervous at the same time though, she didn’t know how she would be received in the grounder capitol. She worried about the people being upset with their commander for allowing her in and showing her so much favoritism. Not that she was ever very nice in public, having an image to keep up with. Everyone still knew, if the commander wasn’t fond of the girl she would have been booted back to camp Jaha long ago. 

Saraya had become sort of an apprentice to Clarke, even as young as she was. She was a fast learner, nothing too serious, mostly just how to identify the herbs and make medicine. She followed Clarke around like a little puppy, always at her side. She had even gotten more comfortable around her Heda, she barely went pink in the cheeks these days. She still stayed reverent as ever, keeping her stoic face on around her. She reminded Clarke of Lexa in so many ways, she was much darker in appearance, but in attitude they were a lot alike. Saraya tried so hard to always be strong. When she would hurt herself she never showed it, when she was bested in training with Lena she never let her face betray her. The young girls had taken to training together a lot lately, for 9 and 11 they were pretty outstanding. Clarke thought Lena might combust one day when Lexa came over to observe and told them that they would both be great warriors someday. She had been trailing her Heda since that day. She even started braiding her hair like her. 

“Lena is getting better, soon she’ll have to find someone older than her to start training with.” Clarke smirked towards the commander’s bed. Lexa had just came in and laid out, tired from a long day of sparring and soccer. Clarke had gotten the adults into it as well, it’s become a village wide game. “Saraya is good but she’s been losing every time they train.” She was concerned for her little doctor in training. She didn’t want her losing spirit, thinking she isn’t good enough. 

“I wouldn’t worry about her having to look very hard to find someone older to train with, Indra has been watching her closely lately, she will make a good second. She is strong, obedient, willing to learn. She will be a great warrior and she’s coming of age.” She didn’t move from her spot, hoping Clarke wouldn’t want to talk much.

“I don’t think she will be able to contain her pride. She wants to be just like you.”

“We leave for polis in 3 days, are you prepared for the trip? I know you’ve been apprehensive about it.” She wishes Clarke would understand that grounders everywhere respect her for the fall of the mountain. Its shadow darkened territories far and wide. 

“Yeah, I’m ready. Especially ready to see this library you speak of. You might not see much of me when we get there.” She had almost done a happy dance when Lexa told her that there was a library in the capitol. She hadn’t had a new book to read in so long. 

“Clarke, sleep. I do not wish to take the trip to Polis without any rest. We can talk about the things you are excited about tomorrow.” She mumbled as clearly as she could with her face buried in her pillow.

“Okay whatever, buzzkill.”

“I do not know what a buzz is, but the only thing I will be killing is you, shof op, go to bed.”

Clarke thought of a number of witty remarks to throw back at the grumpy commander but thought better of it. Lexa was right, she did need to sleep. She really didn’t know how that was going to happen though. She wasn’t even sure which emotion she was feeling more of, excitement or fear. She was excited because Saraya had been telling her stories of Polis and how beautiful it was. She had been there once with her father and she would never forget a single detail of the place. It was a beautiful little city by the sea with shops and trading posts and celebrations like the villages would never see. She had told her of the beautiful colorful cotton dresses that the women made and the food stands with the different marinated meats and vegetables. She said there were even people who made baked pastries with fruit inside them. Things that they didn’t get in the villages. Clarke was excited for all of that, but nervous about how the general population would take to having her there. 

If it wasn’t so quiet in their tent she wouldn’t have heard the barely there soft snoring coming from the other bed. She was glad Lexa was getting some much needed rest. She had been going nonstop lately in making sure everything was okay for her to leave. She knew she was leaving them in capable hands, Indra was more than capable of handling her village. She still couldn’t leave without knowing for herself that Ton DC was on its way to healing. Physically and emotionally. Clarke could understand that much, she always felt the need to protect her people as well. It just came with being a leader, even though she didn’t want to be a one. She was happy that her mom was handling things. She needed this time away with Lexa. She knew it wouldn’t last forever, the remaining 100 still trusted her more than they would ever trust the arkers. She knew she needed to go back to her people. But for now, she was going to stay with Lexa and go to Polis and continue trying to heal her own emotional wounds before she tried to heal the wounds of others.

She couldn’t stop herself from thinking so she decided maybe a walk around the village would ease her mind and allow her to come back and sleep. She was really going to miss it here. As quietly as she possibly could she snuck out of bed and out of the tent causing the guard to raise an eyebrow at her. He was a regular for this post at night, she had gotten quite used to him. “I won’t be going far Damon, probably won’t even leave your line of sight, I just cant sleep.”

This seemed to appease him, he gave her a silent nod and watched her walk off. She walked over to the center of the village was where the large bon fires were lit. She walked around the large circle of logs set up for the people of Ton DC to sit together around the fire and celebrate, eat, mourn, whatever the occasion called for. She didn’t see much of the celebration after the victory over the mountain until Lexa had led her out of the tent to walk around the village. She walked past the healers tent, where she had spent the majority of the daylight hours the past weeks. She realized she was going to miss Nyko and Saraya very much. They had become a permanent fixture in her life. She knew that Nyko would continue teaching her about being a healer, he had also noticed her quickness to learn and her passion for healing. Clarke had taught her what she could, Nyko would take it from there. 

She didn’t stay out long, she was actually starting to feel like sleep would be possible. She walked back to the tent taking in every detail around her. She knew she would be back here, but she didn’t know how long it would be. When she left Polis she needed to go to Camp Jaha and catch up with her people. She missed all of them terribly. She missed Raven and Bellamy. She misses Octavia even though she isn’t sure that she missed her back. She misses Monty, she knows he probably needs her right now, but she isn’t in any position to be there for him. Not right now, not yet. She doesn’t ever think she will be able to get used to the accusation in Jasper’s eyes. She had taken his love from him, he wouldn’t ever understand why. He had truly believed that he would have been able to kill Cage and that it would have ended there. Clarke knows she did the right thing, but jasper would probably bring all of her guilt back the moment he laid those empty eyes on her. 

Damon gave her another nod as she snuck back into the tent and tip toed to her bed. The walk had helped a lot, she was asleep shorty after her head hit her pillow. Her worries for the night were over. She could pick them back up in the morning.


	5. Chapter 5

So my laptop is dead. I can't apologize enough for the long, well hiatus, that my stories have taken. I had so many ideas and then my laptop said fuck you and moved on to the laptop afterlife. I have started to write chapters on my iPhone and while I can type pretty fast it's still frustrating and that blocks my muse and it's just not a fun thing to do since I like my chapters to be at the least 1k words. But I'm at my aunts this week dog sitting and she has an old desktop that I'm currently firing up and I'm going to try to get some writing done. Now don't take this as a promise because I'm also trying to get my toddler down for a nap and that only leaves me 3 hours tops of free time. But let's hope for the best and I don't want you thinking that I'm just choosing not to write. As soon as I can afford a new laptop I'll be back in business. For now I'll try when I can and if I have to I'll write it out on my phone. My thumbs tend to get tired faster than my whole hand does typing. So wish me luck and again I'm sorry!!


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